Sometimes timing isn’t just everything — it’s the only thing.
As with this column in its attempts to be light-hearted, nostalgic, and anecdotal, there are often social constructs and stories du jour that slow my roll.
It’s easy to play the role of flippant pompous jerk once a week from behind print, but I am highly aware of my surroundings within this newspaper. While stretching the broth as far as possible on a stew about mischievous youth and a high school bus egging incident with Sonora, a real news story landed in this same paper yesterday . . .
One that has me more than hesitant to finish my three-part egging expose’ into idiocracy. I had the opportunity to finish it last week, but instead sharpened my barbs on Niner fans, and in return received the requisite “Pull your head out you clown . . . ” emails it deserved.
I enjoy and appreciate short tete-a-tetes with readers, and find they occur more often than not when the column veers into the absurd. The certainty that nobody is taking my thousand words per week seriously, is the very thing that encourages me to talk about nonsense, while salt and peppering embellishments to taste.
“Inter canem et lupum” is a Latin expression meaning “between dog and wolf”, and refers to that moment at twilight, when the two become indistinguishable from a distance.
Manteca to a T tries to lie somewhere in “the time between dog and wolf” – not looking to harm anyone, but unafraid to bite. It’s your decision to extend a hand and decide for yourself.
In a nutshell: reader beware.
Several column cohorts have said “You aren’t gonna finish that egging saga now are you?! Yesterday’s news hit too close to home.”
Too close to home? Maybe. More like within the periphery of my orchard — and on the other side of a ditch. But duly noted.
There is a premium on imitation being the best form of flattery, and with large enough binoculars one can probably even find parallels between egging a rival bus, and the story that splashed across the Bulletin on Tuesday. But that is where it surely ends.
I in no way, shape, or form do I want to minimize that story’s gravity and consequence, nor do I want to run the bus over a few young men that made a huge mistake. Been there. Lived that.
Manteca to a T prides itself in putting on his big boy “mea culpa slacks” when proper attire is required…
But this weekly column is trying to be sweatpants and hoodies. Not to be confused with the actual journalism that takes place in the other necks of these woods.
Undoubtedly someone will be unhappy, perplexed, or incredulous over the fact Manteca to a T chose to finish the Sonora story, over erring on the side of caution. Send your complaints to Tony Coit, because if I don’t write part 3, he’ll never leave me alone.
Former Manteca Bulletin columnist Dennis Fleming once told me “You can only write your column, about writing a column, once a year” – words of professional advice passed along by the great Pat O’Leary. So, this was mine.
It also lets the dust settle a bit, and gives me room to stretch…
Green eggs and Sonora ham: The Finale coming Saturday
A few thoughts from Lloyd Barbasol: “There is only one universal shared human truth. Nobody likes how it feels to sit on a toilet that was just warmed by someone else’s behind.”
“Ladies, you know how sometimes you try to strain spaghetti with just the serving spoon, even though there is a colander within reach — because it feels satisfying when you do it perfectly?!..This is why men don’t lift the toilet seat to pee.”
“Sign #27 You’re Getting Old: You’ve texted 3 different friends to tell them how excited you are about a new showerhead.”
“Watching the movie NOAH on Syfy channel alone in my room…Just said aloud “How’s he gonna’ store the fish on this boat?” Anyway. It’s been a good run.”
Papa Gil’s Fish Dinner @ MRPS.
The annual Ash Wednesday Fish Dinner will be February 17 – a drive-thru from 4 to 7 p.m. Fried or baked fish, roasted potatoes, green beans, salad and rolls. Tickets are just $20, available @ Eventbrite (https://www.eventbrite.com/e/papa-gils-ash-wednesday-drive-thru-fish-dinner-tickets-131562764771?ref=eios) or Contact President James Rogers (209) 456-9087
“It’s not Where ya do, it’s What ya do”